• My Ode To McDonald's, a supersized magnum opus in which Micky D outcooks Thomas Keller and others.

January 08, 2009 / Jeff Shattuck

(Not: I orginally titled this something about dumbass songs, and Catherine pointed out, rightfully, "who's going to want to listen to that?" Hence the rewrite of the post!)

I take my songwriting seriously, too seriously probably, and when I'm in the throes of creating a song that I hope will be really, really good, I feel stressed, pressured, torn. I rarely chuckle.

So every now and then, I allow myself the luxury of writing a song of plain old lunacy. Don't get me wrong, I try hard to make these good, too, but there's simply not as much at steak when one takes on Quarter Pounders versus matters of the heart.

One such composition is called "The Might Micky D's", and it's my ode to McDonald's, which I confess I love, but don't eat at very often because I don't want to turn into a fat bastard.

Here's the tune in SuperSized Stereo! (Lyrics are at end of post.)

Fair warning: I'm singing this one!

For all the gearheads out there (I'm one, too!), here's the stuff I used to sing Micky D's praises:

COMPUTER - MACBOOK PRO 2.33 GHz

DAW - PRO TOOLS MBOX 2 PRO running PRO TOOLS 7.4cs7

ELECTRIC GUITAR - 1980 FENDER "THE STRAT"

ACIOUSTIC GUITAR - LINE6 VARIAX 700 HARDTAIL

BASS - LATE '70s FENDER P-BASS

DRUM MACHINE - DIGIDESIGN STRIKE

GUITAR AMP - AMPLITUBE 2.0

BASS AMP - AMPLITUBE SVX

MIC - SHURE SM-57

I've been to the French Laundry
I've been to Three Stars in Paree
I've been to some of the best in New York City

Of course, I've eaten caviar
I've sipped Sauternes with seared foie gras
I've had cracked quail egg over steak tartare

And it's all been served with grace and style
But sometimes it's just not for me
So when I want a place that loves to see me smile
I head straight to Micky D's

And get a Quarter Pounder with Cheese
And a Coke and fries with that please
And a lotta extra ketchup and a straw for free
There's nothing quite like the Mighty Micky D's

I've savored Montrachets
And vintage bubbly French rosés
They seem to go quite well with foams and gelees

But sometimes I have to find a jacket that fits
To get past the maitre'd
So when I want to just say "I'm lovin' it!"

I head straight to Micky D's
You can take Thomas Keller / And all the fuss
Mr. Kitchen Confidential / Colicchio if you must
And Jean Georges Vongerichten / And Gordon Ramsey
Have them all pack their knives and go / 'Cause they're not the Mighty Micky D

And I love grass fed steak
I love o-toro fresh from the sea
But on days when I deserve a break
I head straight to Micky D's

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